Pretence and Protection March 11, 2006

Blog writer's note: I went against my usual ways and edited this essay for grammar and clarity.
 
In a previous blog I wrote how we can never really know if a friend on a social networking site we never met in person is who they say they are or merely a created persona.  I'd like to expand on that thought.  What Hamlet says with contempt can be said with conviction.  "What a piece of work is man, how noble in reason how infinite in faculty. In form and movement how expressed and admirable. In action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god. The beauty of the world. The paragon of animals..."  Yes, we can be, but we can also be monsters or anything in between.  As human beings we are social animals and seek the company of others.  In doing so we aim to attract like-minded people and those who may know more than us.  Being human most of us do our best to look good and our damnedest to avoid looking bad.  In such we may put forth what we really want to be or had been fooling ourselves into thinking we are.  We present what in our minds is our ideal.  What we hope others will find attractive.  Or we create a facade of coolness and high intellect that we trust will attract those who would be in awe of us.  Then again we may present a persona of stoicism or invulnerability that says, " I am whole unto myself and don't need anyone in my life."   Being this social animal we need the touch of others to thrive; we need relationships be it mentor, friend or lover, a willing ear we can unload on, some advice we use to evolve or a lover to fulfill our longings.  Otherwise, we could be hermits, but that would slowly drive us mad and might create our own "Wilsons" (see Castaway).  We need relationships.  A few pretend we don't.  Thus we build a wall around hearts and let in only a choice few we trust won't break it.  I do believe a lot of us here are authentic and true with ourselves and others.  We are the ones who seek those who have the courage to be vulnerable enough to be their true selves as far as they know themselves to be.  Some of us present our strengths and our strengths... and so present but half ourselves.  In so doing we attract many who are themselves but half a person.  We do this pretense to protect our hearts from breaking.   What is a broken heart but a lesson learned?  Among the wisest words I've read are, "This above all; to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."  So we see that pretense and protection is merely pretense of protection and protection of pretense.